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Love You on Tinder. On Hinge, Not So Much Empty Love You on Tinder. On Hinge, Not So Much

周二 2月 07, 2023 9:55 am
Love You on Tinder. On Hinge, Not So Much

While swiping through the dating app Hinge recently, Morgan Portee matched with a man who she thought could perhaps be worth her time. His profile was interesting, he seemed gentlemanly enough, and he was a little older than she was — the exact thing she’d been searching for.

“He talked about having a date at a golf course or whatever, and I was like, Oh, that would be really nice,” Ms. Portee, 23, an assistant manager at a clothing boutique in Charlotte, N.C., said in a phone interview.

They continued to chat before she realized they had also matched on Tinder, the dating app she checks the most. After a quick inspection of his profile there, she noticed a shift. His Tinder bio included something along the lines of “don’t waste my time, I hate my time being wasted” and he was “way more aggressive,” she recalled. Still, they exchanged numbers.

“When we started texting from Tinder, that’s when he started talking about kinks and stuff,” Ms. Portee said. “But on Hinge, there was never anything sexual about the conversation. He was very nice and normal on Hinge.”

Like nondairy milk and streaming services, the variety of dating apps today has never been greater.

Vinylly pairs potential matches based on users’ taste in music. Stir allows single parents to connect. The Right Stuff gives people with conservative politics a place to mingle. And apps like Taimi and HER focus on queer, lesbian, bisexual, nonbinary, trans and gender-nonconforming people.

With dozens of dating apps available to suit virtually any preference, each with its own unofficial norms and expectations, it’s no surprise that users modulate their personalities from one platform to the next. Whereas an app like Hinge incentivizes leading with details that suggest you’re serious about finding a relationship, an app like Feeld rewards those who put their kinkiest foot forward. Users adjust accordingly.
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Ms. Portee currently has a “whole freaking folder” of dating apps on her phone, including Hinge, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, BLK (for Black singles), Bumble and Chispa, a dating app for Latinos.


To note, Ms. Portee is Black but isn’t Latino. “I got on there because of my friend,” she said. “I actually have a bachelor’s degree in Spanish studies.” Currently in search of a relationship, Ms. Portee is casting a wide net.

And even though she’s occasionally thrown off by the Jekyll and Hyde types of the dating world and promptly unmatches, her own dating profiles vary, slightly too. Her profile on Tinder, for instance, includes pictures of her out at bars, drinking and partying. On Hinge, it’s pictures of her at brunch, usually in a nice, “dressed up” outfit.


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